An Open Letter to AmericInn

Dear AmericInn,

I’m having a nice time staying at your hotel in Grundy Center, Iowa.  The bed is comfy, the room clean, the indoor pool fun and the breakfast waffles tasty.  So why are you messing with my good opinion of you by censoring my internet usage?

I tried to read an article on Sports Illustrated’s site this morning, only to find that it was blocked.  Good heavens, why?  The only clue I have is a message stating “This site was categorized in: News/Media, Sports, Lingerie/Bikini”.  I presume it’s that last one that presents you with the problem.  Are you worried that viewing brazen hussies clad only in their swimwear will damage my developing mind?  Or do you fear pictorial representations of mountains of heavily-muscled manflesh will give me a fatal case of Teh Gays?

And setting aside the absurdity of classifying Sports Illustrated as pornographic, why on earth are you fretting over what I’m viewing at all?  I assure you, I’m a grown man, traveling in the company of a lovely woman who takes pride in exposing me to innocence-shattering displays of nudity on a regular basis; puritanizing my site selection will do nothing to shield me from the terror of boobs.

Are you afraid that, if you don’t censor your guests’ internet usage, children might see something naughty?  I assure you that, if those particular parents are so inept at managing their kids’ on-line activities they can’t keep those kids away from porn on a laptop they control in a room where everybody can see what everybody else is doing, those kids are already downloading whatever they want whenever they want.  They’ve already found a proxy site you haven’t blocked and are, at this moment, resuming their ongoing multimedia game of Grosser Than Gross.  And after that site with the goats, the six-year-old is about to barf in a wastebasket.

Meanwhile, those of us who’d like to read a summary of the weekend’s football games are shit outta luck.