Okay, let’s get fuckin’ weird with it.
It will be Page 50, Game 7: Arigatou, Ningen-san!, by by Michelle
At its heart, this game is about consent, and how consent makes everything okay.
You have just moved into a new neighborhood, and the local critters are desperate to be touched. They would like you to pet them, please, using the touch screen on your mobile device. (Though your mouse will do if you must.) And by “pet” they mean “hideously deform.”
You find a creature. You touch the creature. The creature will inform you how it likes to be touched. Adorable music plays. You “pet” the creature, causing them to contort their bodies in ghastly, unnatural ways, all while horrifying squishing sound effects emerge. All the while, hearts drift up to the top of the screen indicating their deep, deep satisfaction with the Lovecraftian parody of a massage you are administering.
You “pet” the creature, causing its satisfaction level to rise and rise until finally it indicates that you’ve massaged it to completion and OH MY FUCK I just got that and I feel so filthy, and the creature wanders off, leaving you free to find the next one.
I won the game. All the creatures were waiting for me back at my house, presumably for me to … erm … “pet” … at my leisure.
I feel disturbed, and not great about myself. Also, the game is adorable and hilarious and Jasmine and I were laughing at a whole lot of it.
It is, very definitely, a thing that exists, and not a thing I need to ever think about again.
Cleanse my palate, random number generator.
We move on to Page 37, Game 14: Mossy Mechanics!, by Diwata ng Manila
“A game about being sentient plants”
Sure. Yes. Plants. Nice friendly plants. I’m in.