Justice Playthrough #151: Toto Temple Deluxe

Sometimes, a game clearly emerged from the developer’s imagination theme-first; they had an idea, and the game you’re playing is the best way they came up with to explore it. Other times, the gameplay clearly came first, and the theme was thrown on after the fact to give the fun stuff you’re doing some sense of structure.

In Toto Temple Deluxe, you’re one of several little anthropomorphic tombstone guys running around a Mesoamerican temple thing slamming into stuff head-first trying to collect coins and — most importantly — getting the precious, precious goat onto your head. But be careful! EVERYBODY wants to wear the goat, and will head-slam into you to steal him! Whoever is first to three thousand points — tallied partially via coins but mostly by time spent with a goat on your head — wins!


Page 21, Game 28: Toto Temple Deluxe by Juicy Beast

I’m assuming you want to see screenshots of this madness, and I’d like to show them. Unfortunately, for some arcane technical reason, the game did NOT let me take screenshots while I was playing it. Did manage to nab this guy, though.

The all-important goat is over on the left. Also, the UI operates by having you slam head-first into shit, which is a first.

The game presents itself as multi-player (same screen, of course), but unlike most games I’ve played in that category, this isn’t an excuse to punt on the AI. The CPU players were actually satisfying opponents, occasional AI glitches notwithstanding. They challenged me without totally kicking my ass.

The gameplay itself is pretty decent. You scamper around the temple, you jump, you double-jump, you launch yourself at whatever motherfucker currently has the goat and hopefully slam into them and steal that can-eating bastard for yourself. There are occasional power-ups, and they do wacky shit.

Presentation is polished as hell. It looks and sounds fantastic, cartoonish and silly and smooth.

The game play feels kinda like Smash Bros. Brawl, save that instead of beating the shit out of each other, you’re competing to wear an awesome hat that hopefully won’t poop on your head.

The environment adds some spice with power-ups and levels with moving parts, which definitely adds to the experience.

It wasn’t super compelling, but it definitely didn’t suck. And even though they threw-in a totally cromulent AI, I gather that the correct way to play this game is with buddies. Possibly while drinking. And laughing. Because you’re competing to KEEP A FUCKING GOAT ON YOUR HEAD.

This isn’t one I think I’m going to circle back to. But if I saw it for sale cheap on Switch, I’d buy it. I absolutely wanna share this one with friends on a big-ass TV screen.

Damn, we’re on a roll here. Last one was an unpublished novel that wasn’t a total piece of shit, now we’re on to a “multiplayer” game with decent AI. What’s next? An interactive novel I enjoy? What genre I mistrust shall be rehabilitated next?

Page 30, Game 11: you used to be someone by Squinky

“A solitary walk at night.”

Ah, trying to sneak a thoughtful artistic game through my basic bitchness, eh? Why not, it could happen.