Justice Playthrough #22: Anaseidos – An anthropomorphic duck race for 5e

OOOOOH, the author meant THAT kind of race.

Page 53, Game 17: Anaseidos – An anthropomorphic duck race for 5e by C. A. Berlitz

Well, shit. I totally thought this was a RACE race, as in, which duck shall cross the finish line first?

How does duck-racing work? Is this something PCs can bet on? Or are there, like, detailed and meticulous 5e-based rules for duck racing where the players are all ducks, either as a one-shot or with their regular characters because Wizard Shenanigans(tm)? You’ve been polymorphed into a thoroughbred gnomish racing mallard, and your freedom depends on victory. You’re all arranged in your starting boxes, waiting for the referee to give the signal, and … RELEASE THE QUACKEN!!!

I’ve played sillier shit.

Alas. This is just a fanbrew sourcebook on duck-people.

By which I mean, “People with duck heads in the place of the heads you were probably expecting.” Which was the SECOND big disappointment. How do sentient ducks work in D&D? Do they have their own society? Do they go on adventures against marauding bands of golden retrievers? Are there, like, detailed duck-based equipment lists you can use? Or do you just gear them up like any other PC and not sweat bullshit like “How is Sir Quackums wielding that sword, anyway?”

No, the duck people came here from some other dimension fleeing some unknown foe and got tricked and enslaved by dragons and they’re still pretty salty about the whole thing. That’s the gist of it. All very straightforward, no wacky waterfowl jokes or anything.

Hard to read this little sourcebook without feeling like it represents one hell of a wasted opportunity, one way or the other.

But, hey, if your current campaign has you all “This world needs a race of hard-core libertarians who just happen to have duck heads where you expect regular heads to be,” here you go.

Up next: Page 5, Game 29: Master Spy by TURBOGUN

“Throw on your invisibility cloak and put your reflexes to the test in this brutal precision platformer”

Hmm. Dunno if I’m the right audience for a “brutal precision platformer.” But what the hell, I’ll give it a shot.